Sometimes the smoke around us becomes so thick after so long, we become comfortable in being unable to see what’s beyond the haze.
Other times we’re the frog from the example often used in science classes to display how easily we can be in danger without realizing it until it’s too late. We’re the frog sitting in a pot of water that’s being brought to a boil, but because the water is changing gradually, the frog does not recognize its own impending destruction until it’s far too late to escape – or, if it does escape, the injuries and scars will forever remain.
Before last year, everything was in a haze. Anytime the smoke would clear, I would find a way to make it cloudy again. Because, that’s what was comfortable. It was the typical story of one step forward, two steps back – except I would try to run a mile the way I run the 100 yard dash; only to exhaust myself and lay down halfway, even though I knew the finish line was closer than when I first began (Sprinting is my thing; long distance is something I’m learning to do).
Why is this the year of trust? Before last year, my hazy outlook caused me to think that I was living fully, when clearly, I was not. I didn’t trust life. I didn’t trust anyone. I didn’t trust myself. I acted like I did. I said I did, but in reality, I didn’t. Self-deception is far too easy, and we do it all the time. It wasn’t until I finally let the smoke settle and clear that I realized without having trust and confidence in myself, of course I wouldn’t be able to have trust or confidence in anything or anyone else. Some people refer to it as an “aha moment”, but it’s not like that moment comes and now you can suddenly live and execute that epiphany flawlessly in your life. It takes time. It takes determination. Especially on the days when motivation is non-existent. It takes confidence in one’s own abilities. It takes me learning to persevere. To run, jog, walk, and even crawl, but to never stop moving forward.
This is the year of trust. Trusting in the moment. Trusting in the timing. Trusting in myself.
With the smoke and haze, I was petrified of the future.
Now, I’m excited.